Today is departure day from the two week program in the Czech Republic. Unlike most of the other people in the group, I will not be leaving for Pittsburgh and actually am traveling around Europe for the week with some friends. Before this trip, I thought I would be excited to have the chance to stay in Europe and travel without having a program dictate my day to day schedule. However, as I start my own adventure I have realized a few things.
One, the people make the program not the location. The last night of the program, a large portion of the group went out together to spend one last night here. Slowly, people peeled away and headed back to leave for the airport. With each parting person, a feeling of sadness slowly layered on until there was only a few of us left. There was very little sadness from leaving Prague, and more so sadness that I wouldn’t see these people every day ever again. Now that I am separated from these people and I see the texts about them arriving back in Pittsburgh, an unexpected feeling of FOMO (Fear of missing out) is hitting. I feel as if their validation and shared experiences in Prague helped me shape the program into what it is in my head.
Two, I have a very short social battery. While I don’t mind small talk, I am not particularly good at it and love having deeper conversations about peoples lives and futures. This is kind of an unrelated point to the trip, but participating in a structured program that forced me to interact almost every hour of the day with new people absolutely drained me. The most fun I have interacting with people were late night conversations or one on one lunches where I didn’t feel like talking was just polite. There were several people on the trip I felt I got close to in a way I wasn’t expecting. Anytime we had a long bus ride where I could take a nap, I felt comfort in knowing I wasn’t the only one in need of quiet time spent together (if that makes sense).
This entire experience is humbling and grounding in a way I never expected. I have lived most of my life independent and not kept many people close. However, having shared experiences with a group of people only to then be separated by said people is a hard feeling to replicate. As kids, this feeling is easier to work out as the separation slowly happens through 18 years of your life.
Explaining this emotion/experience in words is very difficult and I feel as if I have failed throughout my blogs to accurately portray the amount of fun and fulfillment this trip has brought me. In hindsight, it might be better that way because trying to unpack and explain the bonds we formed might make them feel more artificial and not validated. Although I am an engineer, not everything in my life needs an explanation and I am more than happy leaving the first two weeks in May of 2025 an emotion and story that I can one day share with people I care about.
Swanson School of Engineering 